It’s easy to go for years in a relationship without realizing what we’re really dealing with.
In the case of narcissists and narcissistic abuse, the psychological games can keep us in a fog where we don’t really realize what’s actually going on.
Then one day, we see something about narcissists and what makes them tick, and a light bulb goes off in our head. (The one that tells us that something isn’t quite right.)
So we begin to dig a little deeper, and it turns into an “aha” moment of finally realizing that we’re not crazy after all. And here’s what we begin to discover…
We begin to learn about the characteristics that aren’t so uncommon. The ones that drive us just a little bit crazy, and then we realize that it’s not just us after all.
I’ve compiled this list of 28 characteristics of a narcissist. (Which may not contain ALL of the characteristics, but certainly the bulk of them, along with my own comments.)
Enjoy taking a look at them, and seeing how they may relate to the person you’re in a relationship with.
- Grandiosity (talking big about themselves).
- Anger & Rage (may not show up early on, but be aware of it).
- Lying (another one that may not be obvious, but watch out for things that aren’t making sense).
- Lack of Empathy (it’s all about them).
- Jealousy (this is an insecure person).
- Manipulation (loss of your own power).
- Seductive (which can be intoxicating).
- Emotionally Cold (speaks for itself).
- Doesn’t take responsibility (their stories of the past can show this. How did they treat their kids?).
- Infidelity (Can you spot this? They hide it well).
- Don’t Listen (they prefer to listen to themselves).
- Careless (not really caring).
- Admiration Seeking (covers up their insecurities)
- Poor Boundaries (they had poor boundaries as a child. They can take advantage of our lack of boundaries as well).
- Projection (project their negative thoughts on someone else, such as accusing you of cheating).
- Fragile ego (their self-esteem is inconsistent and they need admiration; this also affects their temper).
- Greedy (They’re trying to fill a hole).
- Gaslighting (they make you question yourself).
- Unpredictable (they can be grumpy but then light up when you go to a party).
- Paranoid (they want to know what you’re up to, particularly around infidelity).
- Doesn’t like being alone (they have continuous relationships).
- Paranoia (they assume that other people have bad motives).
- Hypersensitivity (they’re watching out for any criticism).
- Takes advantage of others (financial and emotional energy vampires).
- Vanity (appearance for admiration: clothing, hair, etc, and they may want YOU to look a certain way).
- Lack of insight and guilt. (They don’t get their impact on other people, including their infidelity and they will blame others).
Now that you’ve taken a look at the list, you should have an idea of whether you’re actually dealing with a narcissist. If you think you are, then you can be more aware of the situation and arm yourself with a plan to move forward.
The question is, will you stay or go? And that’s another topic of discussion.
In the meantime, how are you loving yourself?